Do not Say It in Breast Cancer Patients
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When dealing with friends, family or even a wife who had breast cancer, usually you will catapult the words of encouragement. But realize that some of your good intentions in the form of phrases or words of motivation can actually be bad for them.
According to psychiatrist and director of psycho-oncology services at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska, United States, Jeffrey Knajdl at least, there are five phrases that are often delivered by a nurse or companion with the intention of encouraging. But just the opposite effect happens, this expression can precisely cut communications and aggravate the situation day breast cancer patients.
This five-expression that can exacerbate mood of cancer patients:
1. "Everything will be fine"
You can not predict what will happen with breast cancer patients. According Knajdl, the words were nothing more than mere lip service only and it makes sense their confidence decreased. "It does not make her feel better. Because they know that expression is not always right," he said
Solution: Women with breast cancer just want to hear that you will always be with him in all conditions. You have to be there for them. "Just keep telling him that you will be there with him and you will go through this together," he advised.
2. "I know how you feel"
These words are almost always say when we see someone sad or upset. The problem is, when you say, I know how you feel, this will only increase the sense of isolation of patients. Patients will assume that you do not want to discuss about the disease. You could say those words when experiencing the same conditions with them.
Solution: According Knajdl, an approach would be better, for example by asking something like, "How is your mood?" If the person you care're anxious or sad, it can give him a chance to devote all of his feelings to you. This method is better than the patients continued to keep all complained kesahnya alone.
3. "Try to stay positive, relaxed, and avoid stress to help cure you"
Cancer patients often listen to advice like this. They are in a collapsed condition and you do not want the feeling sunk it complicates the healing process.
It is unfortunate, a lot of literature says that breast cancer patients experiencing pain due to anxiety, stress and and they can be cured if always feel happy and think positive.
But the fact is happening is that they became more concerned because it is always thinking about how not to worry. They also felt guilty because he did not feel happy.
Solution: When the patient is tense or anxious, ask him to identify what triggered the emergence of stress and do something that could make him rest. In other words, do not just say "relax," but come help with how to resolve the problem.
4. "We can beat this disease"
These words are often asked to give encouragement and strength for those with disease severe enough. However, different views actually expressed by Knajdl. He said it was difficult for a person can win against cancer only to capitalize an optimistic attitude and strong will. "There are various factors that underlie why some people recover in this way and others do not. For those who recovered, only luck factor alone," he said.
Solution: The best way to help them (cancer patients) feel positive and hopeful is to continue to convince him that you will always be with them, still care for and support him and make him as comfortable as possible during therapy.
5. "Congratulations, you've completed the chemotherapy"
As a companion patient, you will feel happy when treatment is completed. But what you feel is not necessarily the same as what they (patients) experience. When treatment is completed, there is nothing they can do except wait, and of course this will re-create feelings of anxiety for them.
Solution: Give him a chance to express how he felt. Try to ask open-ended questions, such as, "How do you feel now after completing chemo?" This will allow you to control the response. The point is, whatever he feels is not too important. The important thing is you must be prepared to listen to anything he says.
According to psychiatrist and director of psycho-oncology services at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska, United States, Jeffrey Knajdl at least, there are five phrases that are often delivered by a nurse or companion with the intention of encouraging. But just the opposite effect happens, this expression can precisely cut communications and aggravate the situation day breast cancer patients.
This five-expression that can exacerbate mood of cancer patients:
1. "Everything will be fine"
You can not predict what will happen with breast cancer patients. According Knajdl, the words were nothing more than mere lip service only and it makes sense their confidence decreased. "It does not make her feel better. Because they know that expression is not always right," he said
Solution: Women with breast cancer just want to hear that you will always be with him in all conditions. You have to be there for them. "Just keep telling him that you will be there with him and you will go through this together," he advised.
2. "I know how you feel"
These words are almost always say when we see someone sad or upset. The problem is, when you say, I know how you feel, this will only increase the sense of isolation of patients. Patients will assume that you do not want to discuss about the disease. You could say those words when experiencing the same conditions with them.
Solution: According Knajdl, an approach would be better, for example by asking something like, "How is your mood?" If the person you care're anxious or sad, it can give him a chance to devote all of his feelings to you. This method is better than the patients continued to keep all complained kesahnya alone.
3. "Try to stay positive, relaxed, and avoid stress to help cure you"
Cancer patients often listen to advice like this. They are in a collapsed condition and you do not want the feeling sunk it complicates the healing process.
It is unfortunate, a lot of literature says that breast cancer patients experiencing pain due to anxiety, stress and and they can be cured if always feel happy and think positive.
But the fact is happening is that they became more concerned because it is always thinking about how not to worry. They also felt guilty because he did not feel happy.
Solution: When the patient is tense or anxious, ask him to identify what triggered the emergence of stress and do something that could make him rest. In other words, do not just say "relax," but come help with how to resolve the problem.
4. "We can beat this disease"
These words are often asked to give encouragement and strength for those with disease severe enough. However, different views actually expressed by Knajdl. He said it was difficult for a person can win against cancer only to capitalize an optimistic attitude and strong will. "There are various factors that underlie why some people recover in this way and others do not. For those who recovered, only luck factor alone," he said.
Solution: The best way to help them (cancer patients) feel positive and hopeful is to continue to convince him that you will always be with them, still care for and support him and make him as comfortable as possible during therapy.
5. "Congratulations, you've completed the chemotherapy"
As a companion patient, you will feel happy when treatment is completed. But what you feel is not necessarily the same as what they (patients) experience. When treatment is completed, there is nothing they can do except wait, and of course this will re-create feelings of anxiety for them.
Solution: Give him a chance to express how he felt. Try to ask open-ended questions, such as, "How do you feel now after completing chemo?" This will allow you to control the response. The point is, whatever he feels is not too important. The important thing is you must be prepared to listen to anything he says.
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